(shouting) I really don’t know what the fucks the matter with you?

You don’t! You were trying to pick that guy up!

What guy? I think you’re dreaming these things up just to drive me crazy!

Love quarrel?

Shut up Sprakie.

Jesus Marie, that's all you ever say to me.

Can’t take a hint?

Leave him alone!

Tee, I don’t know what’s happened to you. So I looked at someone else! I used to have the world looking at me, until you made me quit manluv.com.

I didn’t make you quit.

Shit you didn’t!

Shut up Sprakie.

Tee, what’s the matter?

Ask her? (pointing to Phil)

Hey Flo, I don’t need your two-cents worth!

Miss Flirt here, tried to pick this guy in green shorts up at the T-Dance.

Did I talk to him?

Speak not talk!

Stop correcting my grammar, you asshole.

You didn’t speak with him! You’re too expert at that. Those eyes.

You love my eyes.

I love your eyes - but they’re talented!

Phil, you should learn to keep them in their sockets.

Listen, creepyman - you better stay out of this one, if you have any sense. With luck this’ll be the one that ends it all.

You think?

Listen T, I’m not used to anyone trying to totally smother me. I don’t belong to anyone.

No, that would be slavery - and they fought a war over that and ended it.

Believe me, that war ended nothing! I know that there’s all kinds of slavery. I mean, you lose your freedom so easily - and that’s not a good thing, is it?

But Phil, you can’t deny you were trying to pick up Green-Shorts Guy.

He’s cute - and sexy -and hot. I like variety.

You’re tired of me then? You say I’m sexy and hot.

You are - and much more. But, I can’t just stay in one place forever. And you have always told me you liked my honesty - and now you’re not being honest.

pause - calmer)

So, you are saying we need to rethink our relationship?

There’s nothing to rethink!

Nothing!

I didn’t mean it that way.

Well, in what way did you mean it! You know, sometimes we say what we mean before we mean to not say it! Freud’s pet peeve!

Well, there are things I am missing here!

Like?

Like, my old job!

Hustling!

It wasn’t hustling!

Now who’s being dishonest?

Listen, if you want to show your dick to the world on-line and pick up a few tricks and a bit of money, be my guest. But, I just can’t get those pictures out of my head when we’re together.

So it’s THE question! I must be a lady of leisure and lie back and take what you give me - and never stir with another living soul!

I can’t take much more of this. You know, just because your father kicked you out and hasn’t talked to you in 5 years - doesn’t mean I have to be your father now!

(very angry) You fucker! How can you say that to me! I don’t love you as my father! My father is a mean bastard. Maybe you’re mean bastard too!

Let’s be honest. This old man keeps you in the style you’re accustomed! And all he asks is a bit of faithfulness.

(seething) I think the air in hear stinks! I’ve come to P’Town to get laid - a proper lay - and laid I’m gonna get.

Wow! Miss Phil is really in a hissy fit today. I think Green Shorts Guy is gonna get lucky.

Fuck you, Robert Sprague!

Not in your lifetime, Methusallah!

You know, Tee - I can see the attraction, but is it worth it? We’ve been through all this stuff in our lives - and it should be behind us. We should have some peace and quiet. Yet, you’ve managed to tap into Twinkie Central.

(with a little laugh) Maybe you’re right. It’s a different generation. I thought I was being open and honest. But, really, I want his morals to match his looks.

That’s rich. Most of the world regards homosexuals as immoral - and you expect morality within our immorality.

So, it’s philosphy time. I’m not sure we’re speaking about deep issues here.

We’re not! You’re 48 - he’s 20 . . .

. . .he’ll be 21 next week.

Big fucking deal. What does that do, make him the Christ child? I mean, he may be a sweetheart and all, but he’s got a different set of rules he follows. Rules, I’m afraid he’s picked up from that obnoxious queenie friend of his.

Sprakie is obnoxious - but he does have his moments.

Well, Phil and you just don’t go together. I look at you and see a mature, good-looking literary man with Arial.

Arial? On the shoals or not? And remember, Arial was with Prospero.

But not in the same sense. And you are no magician. You can’t command here. When we were together . . .

What?

Are we going to start that again?

Well, think about it. We’ve been coming to P’Town together for how many years? And have we ever quarrelled like this?

No, but we haven’t fucked each other in 25 years!

But we always get something here in P’Town - with no anxiety and no strings; and we think nothing of it. Now, I really think you need to think this relationship out.

Which one?

You and the Twink! I’m you’re best friend and can say these things to you. We have a history and that gives me the right. Besides, I think Sprakie’s got a thing for Phil.

Sprakie! Maybe he does - but Phil doesn’t.

How do you know that? He’s said so? Big deal. Well

Where are going?

I need some air.

I’ll go with you.

No, I need some fresh air.

If he could only be civil to me, that would be a thing. He can’t even write since that little prostitute came into his life. Shit. Look at that mess.

Well, at least he’s writing here. P’Town has always been a little more inspiring to him. What’s this? Some new poetry.

For my dearest Phil -

"I gently draw the blinds
And the sun plays on the bed where my lover still sleeps;
The light fans his naked chest,
His wondrous thighs,
And I am lost to thinking.

"How have we come so far?
Despite a world of hate and fear,
We managed to share our kingdoms,
With a good deal of struggle
As kingdoms will
Fight for their sovereignty to the end.

"But now, in the morning breeze,
He turns his ass in the sunlight
And no matter the stuggle,
No matter the siege
He has my heart and my kingdom’s soul,
And I return to that ass in the sunlight."

That fucker doesn’t deserve his love. That little bitch doesn’t have any idea how hard Tee has fallen for him - and Tee’s love is pure fantasy.

BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

What a beautiful, shirts off day, in the neighborhood.

Look at the old trolls on the porch at the White Swan. Hi senior citizens! Pinkies up. Martinis down. If you like me, I’m yours

(aside) In your dreams - cattle!

Ooo, look at Mr. No-underwear. Mmmm MMMM. Leaves nothing to the imagination. Woah! What’s he doing with Miss Barbie doll? Such a waste of man-flesh. These breeders shouldn’t come and flaunt their wares at this end of the street. That’s it, sweetie, hold on to your man. Ah! Look the White Swan guys stop and look. (laughs)

Now what do we have here?

You’re a cute one - do you come here often? Hands-hands - I know where those hands have been - And those lips are meant for more than sucking up the frappes.

The T-Dance must be getting out at the Boatslip. Look at the bevy coming this way.

Phillip dearest, couldn’t find Green Shorts-Guy?

Didn’t look.

Didn’t look? Mama didn’t bring you up like that. Where were you? Old man Tom left here a while ago. I guess he’s in search of rejuvenation cream. Come tell Mama where you were?

I walked down to the Coast Guard station.

Always love a man in uniform! And they’re such hunks down there. And don’t believe that they’re all straight. Why else do you think they got stationed in P’Town. I mean, how many straight bars are in this village, missy. There isn’t even one for the heterosexual fag-gawkers that come every Saturday to report home about "those queers holding hands in public, you’d never believe."

Really, it fries my ass to be a museum piece for a batch of tourists who come for nothing but to see how the other 10% live. Then, they really don’t see what they could be seeing. I mean, when you go to the zoo, you see the mating habits of the lions. We should conduct a Trollop tour though the town and include a view - under the boardwalk. Can you imagine, Jesus Marie.

"Ladies and Gentleman, on your right is the famous Boatslip Bar, where the fags come and dance each afternoon and arrrange for after hour fucking. Then, I direct your attention to the left, where we have a prime example of the sexual proclivity of the modern hamosexual - in this case an average orghee of five men. I refer you to your tour guide, match the picktures to the appropriate sexuel act and you will soon see the importance of this life-style" (yeech) "in keeping the population explosion in check! Videos are available at the trolley stop."

See hon, you can laugh in the face of adversity. And look, the queens at the White Swan are looking at us. Wave to them.

It’s good for their old spirit - these ancient members of our species. But, I ask you, when Tom winds up on the porch of the White Swan, will you be still here waving to him from the porch of the Pink Swallow.

That’s not funny or fair.

But true. Hon, it’s not working out. You know it. You’re a free spirit. You’re like me.

I’m not like you. Who could bear two of you?

I’ll take that as a compliment. I mean, we enjoy life, sex, showing off and a need for variety. Tom is nice - I can’t deny that - but, he’s so set in his ways and inflexible. I mean, doesn’t sex with just one man get boring.

I’ve never had bad sex with Tom. But what aggravates me is his constant attention to improving me. I mean I like that, but I can’t constantly hear it.

Never try to live your life to someone elses expectations. If we did that, we’d all still be in the closet.

Well, I love the man.

You really, really like him, you mean.

I think it’s love - but, I’m not sure what kind of love. He really pissed me off before - not over Green-Shorts Guy - but acused me of looking at him as a replacement for my father.

Well, there could be some truth to that.

I know, and that’s what’s making me afraid. I would never sleep with my father.

(shudders) I’m gonna puke here. Listen, Sprakie is about to tell you something really important. You are looking at this relationship subject through heterosexual eyes. You can have a relationship - but you know it must be open. We don’t have marriage. We don’t have babies and college educations to worry about. We just need to be sexually compatible and be able to respect each other; and maybe be within a light year of each other’s age.

It all comes back to that. It never bothered me until now.

Sush! Here’s Creepyman.

I can’t stand him. He’s always around us. He comes to the apartment in the middle of the night and Tom always lets him in - and Flo talks to the wee hours of the morning.

(loud) Well, my dearest sister, I think that you need to lie down - now that the room is vermin free.

Hey, Florian - did you see the old queens on the porch of the White Swan. It’s cocktail hour. You don’t want to miss it do you?

Can’t you be civil?

Wait.

Pinch my ass with a lobster, look at that basket.

I could slobber on that in a flash.

Well Thomas Dye, you shouldn’t have?

I haven’t! He’s not yours.

Tee, what’s the meaning of this?

Well, don’t be rude, introduce us to this god in green shorts.

Oh, Arthur . . .

Allan.

Sorry, Allan this is Sprakie and my friend, Florian.

What a pleasure. Y’all come over here and sip a bit of cognac with us girls, before you retire for the evenin’. You say no. Aw, what a pity - And I do so like gentleman callers, don’t you Floiran, honey.

Cut the shit, Sprakie. (to GSG) He’s always clowning around.

Why, why what do we have here? A basket of fine fruits, ripe for the pickin’ and plump for the stuffin’.

Arthur . . .

Allan.

I mean Allan, why don’t you wait for me in the foyer.

Tee you’re an asshole and no better than they are. And, by the way, Phil is in the room, so you probably better go off under the boardwalk.

Oh, good. I didn’t bring him back for me . . .

Oh, you liberal sweetheart. You brought a truce gift for Phil.

No, Green Shorts Guy.

Arthur . . .

Allan

Whatever, he’s for Phil and I.

I have been too stuffy and traditional. I haven’t allowed him any variety or myself - and who the fuck am I to allow or disallow anything. So, this bit of flesh is not a gift - he’s something for us to share. So, if you guys wouldn’t mind staying away from us for the rest of the day, I’d take it as a personal kindness.

I can’t believe this.

What can’t you believe! Eh, creepy guy.

Stop calling me that.

Well you’re creepy. You’re always lurking around and bothering Tom.

You mean, bothering you and Phil. Tom and I have been friends for years. We lived together.

You did - and you haven’t ever gotten used to him living with someone else.

Look who’s talking. You miss your little Phil, just as much.

Just as much. You admit it then.

That I loved Tom? I’ll admit that.

Loved? Love - present tense.

I’ll admit that too - and you should admit you love Phil.

Please. I can have any man on earth for a wink.

Any man, but one!

You bastard. You shouldn’t fuck around in territory you don’t know.

But I do know - and you’re fucking around in the same territory. We’re fucking around together.

Jesus Marie.

Stop with the Jesus Marie already. I hate when you say it.

Jesus Marie. Jesus Marie. Jesus Marie.

I’ll fucking rip your head off, you little bitchy slut.

Oh. The man’s physical. (being real nelly) Help me, oh Help me. Maybe someone at the White Swan can come over and take you on. Maybe one of the older ones. Jesus Marie

You see, you can get any man in the world for a wink.

Jesus Marie

Look at it. It still holds its mystery.

I came to see Whales - and all I could do was puke my guts out on the deck. How can something so wonderful be so extraordinarily painful? Yet, even as I concentrated on the waves, looking for the great grey flukes - I could swear, they were just below the surface. I wanted so to see them.

"I leave a white and turbid wake; pale waters, paler cheeks, where’er I sail. The envious billows sidelong well to whelm my track; let them; but first I pass."

"Yonder, by the ever-brimming goblet’s rim, the warm waves blush like wine. The gold brow plumbs the blue. The diver sun - slow dived from noon, - goes down; my soul mounts up! She wearies with her endless hill."

Is he still asleep?

Arthur . . . ?

Allan.

Yes, and let’s not wake him. Did you like it?

Allan? It was a nice gesture on your part and quite enjoyable. You surprise me. Why this sudden change?

No need to analyse it - or discuss it at all. I just acted on instincts.

Your instincts were correct. But, sex is not the answer. It doesn’t solve stuff.

I know. Phil, I really am sorry about what I said.

I know you are. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me - but, I know there must be some truth in what you said. And for the first time I am wondering whether your age is a factor in my attraction to you.

Is that so bad?

Well, let’s not look at right or wrong. I still think we need to change some things. I think I need to move back with Sprakie and get my old job back.

You must do what you must do, but why Sprakie? I’ll help you into your own place.

Sprakie understands me.

I understand you. I really do. Wait.

Look, I’ve been writing again. And I think some of this is among my best. Let me read this to you.

Well, you know what’s here.

Something in praise of me.

Something like that. No matter. It’s really bullshit.

f you say so. I’ll listen, but right now I think we need to . . .

Wow. See him.

See what?

The whale. I thought I saw it’s tail come and splash the waves.

They don’t come in this close.

But I saw it. I really saw it.

And so you did. I will miss you, your wonderful infectious smile, your love of new things and wonder at all things. I will feel so old when you are gone.

Don’t be so depressing. I’m still here. There are still the memories - the great times.

Can we live on them and feed on them forever? Time will wave its waning wand over them and they will brush away in the morning mist.

I will miss your gift for phrase. You don’t speak, you . . .

Diarrhea.

No, it’s elegant and . . oh wow.

I saw it this time. It is a whale. Look at that. You were right.

I love you.

We still have a few days. And look at that sky, have you ever seen such a sky?

It is glory itself. This is a magical place. I’ve never seen such a brilliant glow about the sun - it’s the margin of heaven and earth swallowing up the blaze into the cool, dark quiet of the sea’s most shimmering chasm.

Holy shit! Look at that sky. What a fucking beautiful sunset! That’s one for the record.

Now, are you guys up for another round of fun?

We still have tonight . . .

And our memories. So, let’s go make some more memories.

I wonder what he’s doing for his birthday? I bet he’s working.

Birthday. 21! When I was 21, we were still in Vietnam and wore leisure suits.

"Upon waking the next morning about daylight, I found Queequeg’s arm thrown over me in the most loving and affectionate manner. You had almost thought I had been his wife. "

Reads again:

"Now, Queequeg is my fellow man. And what do I wish that this Queequeg would do to me? Why, unite with me in my particular Presbyterian form of worship. Consequently, I must unite with him in his; ergo, I must turn idolater."

Sprakie, who on with you tonight? Phil?

Yep

You haven’t seen him yet, have you?

I’ll keep a lookout. (exits)

21^st birthday - and I got him a gift - and he’ll never see it.

C’mon Phil - you’re late.

These dudes will be ready for us.

I’m ready for you. I am.

Ars Cetacian! What wonders we have here!

Jesus Marie. I am so happy he’s back. I did miss him so. That Tom guy wasn’t a bad sort. I kinda feel sorry for him, but not too sorry. After all, that wasn’t going anywhere - and me and Phil, we’re just like made for each other.

(sighs) I really miss him. There’s a deep pit in my stomach and ache . . .

I ache for him. I can finally have him on my own terms - here in the studio. This is my dream come true . . .

Those dreamy eyes and memories of his laugh. They lift my soul and make me young and alive.

I am alive for his touch, his very touch . . .

I had never been so alive in my life. Never been so. But now . . .

It’s about time you got here. Did you turn out the lights before you left the apartment?

Yes.

I don’t have shares in ConEd, you know.

Here it is.

Are you ready for this tonight? You’ve never done one of these duo sessions with me. Mmmmm they’re in for a treat. And so are we.

I’ll survive.

Hey, they don’t pay for gloomy Guses. You better be bright and merry.

Don’t worry. I am a professional.

"Ring me with young hearts -
Songs green with remembrance,
But not so green to be mowed -
Scarlet hussies
With laughter on their breath -
And liquor too,
For they know what I have forgotten
And I need to know again."

I thought we’d begin with just a little chat with the regulars - you know tease ‘em a bit. Then, each of us could do a little strip number.

"Ring me with fiery youth,
Dancing boys who know their stuff -
Who know what I know -
That life is invincible
And infinite."

Then . . . you’re so moody tonight.

Is that better?

I don’t know. I’ll warm up the cam.

"And when I whisper the truth to them
They laugh at my falling body
But laugh with my seeking soul
And hold me fast to the lies of youth
Which I need to remember
In this life of infinite laughter."

Fuck it. I need to see him. Even if I can’t have him. I need to see him.

OK Boys

(typing) "Hi all!"

(typing) "Robert."

Shit. He’s here.

(typing) "Hey dude. Glutton for punishment?"

(hearing this) Who’s that?

No one.

(typing) "Sprakie, I see him. Tell him I’m here."

You know Phil, hon, I forgot my lube. Could you . . .

Tee. Sprakie let me sit there.

It’s a mistake.

(typing) "Ismael."

(typing) "Tee"

(typing) "Just wanted to say Happy Birthday."

It’s your Birthday?

(typing) "Much appreciated. Now they all know, we’ll be getting click upon click."

(typing) Laughing again.

(very upset) Phil, we’re supposed to be working here. This isn't the lonely-hearts club. It’s the pay as you go society - and this much pathos will certainly drive this session into the red.

(typing) "Need to work Tom."

(typing) "I understand - but it was good to . . ."

(typing) "I have missed you."

Jesus Marie.

(typing) "Sprakie let him be."

(typing) "Fuck off, Tom.

Sprakie, don’t! Don’t!

I can’t. I love him so. I love him so.

(typing) "Shit, someone’s at the door. (shouts) Just a minute! (types) Are you alright?"

(typing) "Tee, I’m coming home. Coming home right now."

Oh, Flo. Come in - sit down - I’m on-line.

That again?

(to Phil) You can’t leave in the middle of a gig! What am I supposed to do! Where are you going?

Home.

So I forgot your birthday - big deal.

Not your place - my real home!

Him! Phil, honey. You’ll only come to the same place time and again. Phil!

(leaving) Call me Ismael

They’re off-line now.

It’s a good thing. You’re too addicted to those twinkies. I will say one thing, since you dumped that little cabbose, you’re writing has improved.

How would you know? It’s only been a week.

I know.

But look at this stuff. It’s pretty thin compared to what you sent me earlier in the week.

But, I just wrote that now.

No. Don’t bullshit me! These were in P’Town. And I judged it to be pretty thin stuff.

Oh, so you were able to look at some of this while we were in Provincetown. Funny, you never mentioned it before.

Well, I didn’t think I’d get to ever see them - they were a bit watery and sunless. I think it’s good that we’re back to normal.

We’re back to normal? I hear a WE in that remark, as if we were a WE.

Well, whether we’re together or not, we are soul mates, deeply devoted to each other’s interests. I mean, we would never do anything to harm each other - and are always on the look-out for each other’s interests. So, we are a WE of some kind.

True. But do you want to know what I think? I think you have in your sick little mind that we are still a couple. And I think that you can’t grasp the truth that you are driving me crazy.

(alarmed) How can you say that? You light up my life. If you weren’t so wonderful for me --- to me --- I don’t know what I’d do.

Now don’t get into a panic.

(in a panic) A panic! You say a panic! You are throwing out our time together as if it were some footnote in our lives.

Flo. Listen. You can’t have what I won’t give. You can’t take what I haven’t available for you. At base, we’re friends. But you want it all - never a small bit. And it’s my fault that I have let you proceed this way. I admit it.

So you’re telling me, it’s over between us!

Flo, it can’t be over, if it never was! I’m sorry if that hurts you, but I have a new life to live.

You’re gonna find another twinkie and live another lie.

I have found the man of my life and soul. And he’s coming back to me as we speak.

(very anxious and panicky) No! I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it! He’s going to have what’s rightfully mine.

It’s not fair you know. I’ve given him so much and he’s being ungrateful. I don’t even feel like screwing in public tonight. Oh, it’s come to this.

Flo, compose yourself and leave. You have done great damage here. And I am afraid you need some professional help - and I can’t give it to you.

But . . .

But nothing

What do you want?

Monitor 5 sent me here for the "duo." Told me Phil went home sick.

Sick? Homesick,eh? You better believe that puppy’s homesick.

(upset) I feel like shit for doing that - and he made me loose my temper and I can never forgive him for that. And he was the one who wrote "BULLSHIT" on that poem - and I thought Phil did it! So Phil has never even seen that poem.

(typing) "Hello again boyz."

Where are your keys?

Tell them that Phil’s sick and Maxie’s here to strut his stuff.

I gave them back to you, remember?

Oh, of course.

Well, happy birthday.

Holy shit! Look at Sprakie go and with Max.

Shall we watch them for a while?

Actually, it’s boring. It has no soul.

And he forgot my birthday.

21. And do you feel any older? (laughs)

Actually, yes. But you said you had a present.

Yes I did.

Did? You mean do.

Well, I had one - which is here.

Oh wow, what a great present.

But I have a better one (hands him the poem)

What’s this? Who wrote BULLSHIT on it! Not you!

No, it was Florian.

(Phil reads to himself)

You know Florian is insanely jealous of you; and he read this poem in P’Town and wrote all over it. I was going to give you this in P’Town - but somehow I thought . . .

You thought I wrote BULLSHIT on this. This is beautiful, Tom and even if we were arguing I would never deface a thing of beauty. How could you . . .

It’s easy when you’re in love.

Florian has got to . . .

I wouldn’t worry about Flo again. He was just here and I had it out with him. He’s crushed and I am sorry for it - but, I need to get on with my life.

Flo always made me uneasy, but I hope he’s ok. Sprakie is very upset. I left him as well. I think you were right . . .

I know I was right. It is wonderful to have the love of others, but when you can’t truly return it, it is a burden indeed. A burden to everyone.

Any other good things here?

I don’t know - you be the judge.

I like this one.

Which one?

"Finding in your arms in the evening
The lullaby -
The sweet song to carry me away
From the day.
Down to the river’s bevel to drink in the clear pool -
Counting the minnows that wink at our image -
Resting beneath the chestnut of our home."

"No one needs to know us or about us -
Knowing might confuse them and then they’d know the secret -
The cool of my contentment -
The wisdom of my power -
The source of my compassion -
The truth of my steadfastness.
They would know then,
And would envy my very nature."

"Hear the wind’s sweet whisper -
The lull of the lilac perfume -
The rich gardenia balm
And the chestnut of your arms."

I’d say I love you again, but the last time I said it, you could not.

I cannot because to say "I love you" means nothing to us. There’s so much in that word that doesn’t apply. And there’s so much in every other word that does. You are all I need to be me.

And you are all I need to be WE.