American Gulag

Downstairs, in A Platoon there was a very disturbed young man, who we knew was crazy. He would go into bouts of laughing or shouting in the middle of the night. He snarled at Sergeant Pike; and often could be heard cursing at his comrades randomly. We called him "The crazy" and often saw him standing aside in morning formation, in his own formation so to speak. But mostly, I remember he was part of the blend of night sounds every evening - the evening music, sounds of heavy breathing, nostalgic weeping, sleep talking and walking. But this one evening, shortly after lights out, there was a different sound in the night. There was a loud crashing sound - then, screams and shouts.

"What's that."

"Jesus Christ, let me sleep"

"What the fuck's going on?

"What a racket!"

It sounded like murder afoot downstairs in A Platoon.

"That came from downstairs," said Ormond getting up, fully dressed. "It must be the The Crazy in A Platoon."

"What will they do?" I said.

"That crazy guy downstairs is acting up," said Avilia.

There was quite a commotion, the sound of things breaking; shouts of get the Sergeant and "hold him down".

"Some one check it out," said Chola.

"Here's my chance," said Ormond to me.

"Don't do it, Buddy," I said.

"I gotta."

Huey crept down the stairs to see what was going on. The rest of us huddled toward the top of the stairs, still a bit scared to venture down. Ormond, however, waited until we were all distracted. He gathered his ditty bag, went to the back window and darted out using the rope and pulley. He was gone by the time Huey returned.

"So, Huey, what's going on?" said Avilia. "What?"

"Let's get back to bed," ordered Krasnar.

"Shut up," I said getting a murderous glare from that asshole.

"I knew we'd have a night like this," wimpered Chauncier. "I just knew it. It's like my childhood in the South Bronx."

"It's the screwball downstairs," said Huey.

"The one that spits at people?" I asked.

"Yep. He put his head through a footlocker."

"Yuke," said Chola.

"There's blood everywhere."

"Well, it's over with," said Krasnar. "Let's get back to bed. I need my beauty sleep."

"The Sergeants are coming," said Huey.

We all scurried back into our beds and listened to the pandemonium downstairs. I could hear Pike and Gonvea, swearing and giving orders to A Platoon. There was scuffling and banging. The MPs arrived; and there was some more orders. Then, I heard our stairway in use. The Sergeants arrived upstairs. They flipped on the lights.

"Everyone stay where they are," bellowed Pike. "Just be calm and stay in bed."

"What's going on downstairs is none of your fucking business," said Gonvea.

"But Sergeant," said Chauncier, "it's so unsettling."

"Well," said Gonvea putting his face in Chauncier's, "I'll send you an apology in the morning sweet cakes - but for now, stay in your fucking bed?"

"Cool it - everyone," said Pike. "The Lieutenant will be around to talk to you all. Meanwhile, chill out."

"How can we chill out with all that fucking racket?" complained Krasnar.

Gonvea was all over him like honey on a bear claw.

"Listen asshole, we don't need your fucking comments! Did you hear me?"

"Hey, how can . . . "

"Did you fucking here me, troop?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes Sergeant!"

"Good," said Gonvea. "Get up and give me twenty."

"Shit!"

"Do you want to go for 40?"

Krasnar got up and started his push-ups, while Gonvea walked up and down looking at the bunks.

"Hey," said Gonvea. "Hey, where's Ormond?"

"Who?" asked Pike.

"We got one of the girls missing, Pike; Ormond.

Pike took a look for himself.

"Krasnar," he said, "stop the push-ups. Everyone, on your feet."

We fell in beside our bunks. I was nervous for Ormond and myself. I hoped he to the taxi stop.

"OK, you shit heads," said Gonvea. "Where's Private Ormond? Pike, check the latrine."

Pike did and returned.

"Not in there."

"OK," said Gonvea. "I want someone to tell me right now, where your asshole buddy is? I want an answer now! Gibbs!"

"I don't know Sergeant!"

"I don't believe that, Gibbs. You hang out with the guy. Where did he go?"

"I don't know Sergeant."

"All right! You don't know. You must have seen him, but you don't know. How about you, Chauncier?"

"Don't ask me, Sergeant," said Chauncier starting to blubber.

"OK, cut that shit," said Gonvea. "I want all you ladies outside in formation, NOW! "

We all hustled outside, still in our skivvies and barefooted. We lined up at attention in the quadrangle. The night was clear, with a full moon. It was very chilly. We squirmed as a little breeze blew. We stood there for what seemed forever with Gonvea pacing up and down our ranks until Pike returned with Lieutenant Frakus.

"Now, we can stay out here all night if we need to," shouted Gonvea, "but someone must know where Private Ormond went."

Frakus took center stage at this point. He tried to be a fatherly as he could.

"Gentlemen," he said, "I know this has been all very upsetting tonight. No one expects a soldier to go wacky, but it does happen. Now your downstairs neighbor, Private Dunbar has managed somehow to get himself a wild load of drugs and has pretty well fucked up the first floor décor with his blood. He has managed to smash his head up. He's been taken to the hospital. However, gentlemen, some how Private Ormond thought it wise to scurry away without leave. For those of you who did not know, and I suppose most of you did know, Private Ormond applied for a leave of absence. It was denied for good reasons. After all, wanting to be with your male, homosexual lover doesn't really qualify as an emergency leave. If that were the case, you all would be out on emergency leave. So, why harbor his secret - when it's really unfair to you. You all could be going where he's going."

There was a long pause - an anticipation that one or all of us would shout our where Ormond was. That not forthcoming, Lieutenant Frakus honed in on me. He was gentle and soft, looking me square in the eye.

"Gibbs?" he said. "You were closest to him. He would confide in you. Where did he say he was going?"

I refused to say. I was going to keep Buddy's secret at whatever cost.

"Well, suit yourself," said Frakus. "You'll all be out here until someone gives us some information. And you can all thank Private Gibbs for the experience."

Gonvea, Frakus and Pike retreated into the barracks.

"Damn it Gibbs," said Krasnar. "That fucker Ormond must have told you."

"C'mon," said Chauncier, "if you know something, Gibbs, tell them. I'm cold. I'm not staying out here all night. I wish I had on my long john's."

Krasnar broke ranks and put his face in mine.

"You better tell them something," he said. "Even if you make it up."

"Listen, fucker," I said, "whether I know something or not, Ormond was our comrade and he deserves to be . . ."

"With Arthur," said Krasnar.

"No Alice."

"Alice, my ass."

"Krasnar," said Avilia pulling him away, "back off. Gibbs - Buddy Ormond is as gay as the rest of us."

"I'm not a homo," I said.

"Whatever, hon," said Avilia. "Buddy Ormond is Gay. That Alice bullshit story he just made up for the emergency leave application. I told him that they investigate these things; and it would never hold water."

"I don't believe you," I said trying to hold on to Buddy's faith and advice not to trust the fairies.

"You're a bigger dumb ass than I thought you were," said Krasnar.

Gonvea returned bringing the Platoon back to attention.

"Change your mind, Gibbs?" he said.

I shook. Was Buddy telling me a lie? It could not be. He could not be that deceiving. He went to help Alice, not flee to Arthur. Yet, I remembered our conversations about Artie - and some remarks made by Ormond that showed a very thorough knowledge of homosexuality. I was confused. I decided however to hold my ground and remained silent.

"No sergeant," I finally said. "I know nothing."

The Platoon grumbled. Pike returned and took Gonvea aside for a conference.

"OK, ladies," said Gonvea, "back inside. Ormond was collared at the main gate. He'll be in the stockade if you wanna send him a postcard."

Gonvea thought the remark was very funny, and repeated it laughing to my annoyance. I also was getting snears from some of the Platoon, so I stayed outside for a while. It was chilly, but I figured it was warmer here than inside with pissed off people. I was also very confused about Buddy Ormond. I stood in the shadow of the barracks walls and cried. In the shadows I saw Pike and Gonvea still on the quadrangle, smoking.

"Don't feel bad, Winslow," said Avilia emerging into the shadow. "May I call you Winslow?"

"You can call me shithead," I said.

"Don't do that to yourself," he said. "Whether you're gay or not isn't important. But you need to understand that those of us who know we are gay and don't want others to know, live in a constant state of alarm and lies."

"Liars," I said. "I hate liars."

"But you know," he said, "lying isn't so bad when you're forced to do it. There are black lies and white lies. You know the difference between those. But, let me tell you, there are pink lies as well. When you're so afraid to tell someone about yourself or to be yourself for fear of losing that person or getting the shit beat out of you, you tell a pink lie. So, don't be so hard on Buddy Ormond. His love for Alice was in his mind. That passion, however, is really for someone else; for someone named Artie."

"He mentioned an Artie to me," I said.

"You see," said Avilia, "he trusted you to a point - and I bet he would have told you if he had left tomorrow or two days from now. It was a pink lie. Most of my life is a pink lie - and I hope you won't be hard on me."

"You're so nice," I said.

"Don't blame yourself and . . ."

He stopped suddenly. There was a shooting shooting star.

" Look at that," he said emerging from the shadow. "There's a shooting star. Look - a shooting star."

"And another," I said following him. "Wow. Look there."

"It's a meteor shower," said Avilia.

The sky filled with shooting stars. It was a rare thirty-year occurrence, a large meteor shower as bright and wonderful as any fireworks display.

"Ladies - back inside," said Gonvea. "What the fuck are you doing? Back inside."

We started back into the barracks. Pike noticed the meteors and pointed upward. Gonvea looked to the heavens.

"Holy shit!" he said. "Will you look at that! Ah Maria - what a wonder!"

Avilia turned to me as we climbed the stairs.

"You know what I heard out there, Gibbs?" he said.

"The stars singing?" I said.

"You got it. Mi abuela met su abuela and they sang a lullaby over their dime a dip!"

I will never forget that night!